JOHN (Angrily)

It’s over!

JANE (Shocked)



It’s over!  I can’t live with this contempt anymore!


What do you mean? You can’t mean that! What are you talking about?!

JOHN (accusingly)

You can’t be surprised, Jane. That whole thing with “Jay-vi-er” (said mockingly). And now this?! Did you think I wasn’t going to notice?

JANE (calmingly)

First off, it’s pronounced “Har-v-air”, and we’ve already gone over that.

(Quietly to herself): or so I thought. (To John) Secondly, I’m not hiding anything from you.

John: you’re hardly at home anymore: you’re so busy with work.  I’m left here, on my own.  I have needs too, John. It’s not fair to make me wait here, on my own, until you have time for me.  I know going to another man was the wrong thing: I’ve apologised over and over. Why can’t you get past this?


Ha! What if I brought in another woman?

JANE (fed up)

Honestly, John, if you need to do that, then do it. Although what you’d need another woman for is beyond me …

JOHN (Shouting)

So I’m not man enough for you, is that it?

JANE (exasperated)

I. Did. Not. Say. That.  I’m saying that if bringing a woman in, is going to make you feel like we’re even somehow, then you should do that.

JOHN (disgusted)

Does anything mean anything to you? At all?

I’m not going to lower myself just to make you feel justified or let off the hook.

JANE (shaking head)

I’m sorry.  I thought we got passed this.  I thought you forgave me for Javier. You said you were fine about it, and that you understood.  But I guess not.


I MIGHT have got passed Jay-vi-er (mockingly) BUT WHAT DO I FIND HERE?! Craig’s number!  Yeah, I know ALL about Craig.  I know what he does: I know his “thing”. You think I don’t know things, don’t you?  It’s pathetic how you women fawn over that jerk. I don’t know what makes you think Craig’s got any time for the likes of you. Ha!  You do know he “services” a number of women in town, don’t you? You think because you can get Jay-vi-er  (mockingly) that you’re gonna get Craig too? Puh-lease (rolling eyes).


You’ve lost your mind. I can’t talk to you in this state.


So I’m right! Got no quick comeback? Yeah! I’ve got your number, lady.


Once again, John: I’m sorry I got Javier the Handyman to put the new letterbox up.  I realise that you had planned to do it, but you’ve been promising to do it for over a year now and it’s just a letterbox.

And as for Craig: he’s quick and cheap and he can get the lawn done in an hour.